IdealisticTanguera
Gen X
Female
Carbondale, CO
Speed of commitment:
In between: Open to a commitment after a defined time for a trial run, Slow: Open to a situation where trust can build over time
IC types I would live in or am forming:
Ethnic culture-focused (e.g., BIPOC), Life partner with community values, Retreat or event hosting as community, Shelter for homeless
Food production:
Working toward a mix of producing our own food and buying groceries, Working toward producing all or nearly all of our own food
IC seeker or founder/resident:
IC founder: I am seeking members to join a core group in founding a new IC. We already have a clear vision and established norms.
ICmatch group or IC I'm part of:
Ecohouse & Healer Cooperative
Vulnerable population as a proportion of residents:
Less than half, No can do
Residential proximity:
House mates (separate bedrooms, shared kitchen), Roommates (okay to share bedroom)
Ownership types:
Join an established IC to learn and possibly stay, Rent a room as a trial run
Reasons for shared housing:
Friendship and sharing activities, Lower cost of living, Sharing meals and chores, Sharing resources (spaces, equipment, tools, vehicles, gardens), Working together in a business (e.g., remote location)
Décor of shared areas:
A consistent aesthetic theme is important, Decisions based on practical utility and durability, Prefer furniture & decor that's kid-or-pet friendly (used or easily replaceable)
Clutter level of shared living areas or work space:
Average level of "lived in" look, Creativity in progress (translate: not tidy in designated work space), Super tidy at diagnosable OCD level, Tidy in shared spaces, with a designated place for things
Cleanliness level (germs & crumbs):
All food counters & tables wiped down after each use, All food counters & tables wiped down daily to not attract pests, Dishes washed (or loaded into dishwasher) daily to not attract pests, Disinfectants must be ecologically safe products (chemical sensitivity), Disinfecting is not important, Dusting is not so important
Yard or landscaping:
Not applicable
Neighborhood or scenery:
Nature scenery is a priority worth paying extra for, Scenery is not high on the list of property characteristics that's worth paying extra for
Current city/town and state/province:
Carbondale, CO
Nation(s) of current residence:
United States
Preferred regions:
U.S. Colorado, U.S. rocky mountain region
Population density:
Remote, Rural, Small town
Ideal location(s):
rural or semi-rural location within the Roaring Fork Valley of Colorado
Commitment to my current location:
Other
Relocation capacity:
Committed to the current general location for the foreseeable future
Resource sharing:
Car share, Garden (share work and produce), Joint business (share work and profits), Meal preparation, Tool share (maintenance and use of expensive equipment)
My socioeconomic status:
Substantial assets but lower income
Leisure and lifestyle:
Leisure time is a high priority, but not necessarily expensive
Leadership availability:
I'm currently in IC leadership, I'm willing to join as part of a core leadership team
Roles and responsibilities:
Clear responsibilities are important to minimize conflict, In a reciprocal relationship you give about as much as you get, but it happens without keeping track, In a small family-like group, the saying applies, “to each according to their need, from each according to their abilities", Transactional relationships are more fair; to a reasonable extent there should be accountability through written agreements
Common practical skills:
Cleaning, Cooking for groups, Farm animal care, Gardening or crop cultivation, Grant-writing, Group facilitation, Organizing & labeling
Experience or schooling:
Activism & organizing, Business management, Ecological science, Experience teaching adults, Humanitarian work, Long term rentals and maintenance, Nutrition, Outdoor survival skills (e.g., hunting, foraging, fire starting), Political science & history, Psychology, Short term rentals and hospitality, Social dance, Sociology, Theater, Travel, Website design, Writing
Languages:
Spanish (not fluent but passable), minimal German
Occupation(s) and expertise:
writing, dissertation coaching & editing, mediation, foster care management
Years lived in an IC:
Less than a year in IC, Lived with roommate(s) or housemate(s), Lived with sibling(s) or other non-parent relatives
Experience in community:
4 months living on site at ecovillage and volunteered there for 9 months prior; lived with roommates and housemates for over a decade
Professional certifications or degrees:
M.A. in psychology; mediation certification
Generation:
Gen X
Generations intended in IC:
Children (born 2013 or later), Gen X (born 1965 – 1980), Gen Z (born 1997 – 2012), Millennial (born 1981 – 1996), Older boomer (born 1946 – 1954), Pre-boomer (born before 1946), Younger boomer (born 1955 – 1964)
Number of working adults:
3
Alcohol (tolerable rules):
Should be allowed after work hours, Should be regulated by group decision only if it becomes problematic
Tobacco smoking (tolerable rules):
Should only be allowed outdoors
Cannabis (tolerable rules):
Should be allowed after work hours, Should be allowed in designated areas only, Should be allowed with medical prescription, Should be regulated by group decision only if it becomes problematic, Should not be allowed on the premises, even if its legal in our location
Psychedelics (tolerable rules):
Legal psychedellics are okay if not disrupting to others, Should be allowed by those authorized to use them for ceremonial purposes
Illegal recreational drugs (tolerable rules):
Should be dealt with by group decision in a manner to support non-use, Should not be allowed on the premises, Should not be policed by the community, as long as no minors are involved and others are not negatively impacted
Overnite guests (tolerable rules):
Should be allowed in designated guest areas, Should be permitted in limited circumstances as decided by the governance process, Should be subject to group decision only if it becomes problematic
Daytime visitor access (tolerable rules):
Should be discussed and limited by the IC agreements, Should not be restricted after certain individuals or visitor types are approved, Should require that community is informed of planned visits
Nudity (tolerable rules):
Should be limited to private rooms or private residences (as is the norm outside the IC)
Required disclosures:
Current addictions even if under treatment, On sex offender registry, Past felony conviction
Prohibitions:
people need to take responsibility for their effect on others, including guests of the community
Religious or spiritual practice-based IC:
No mandate of adherence to shared religious beliefs and practices
My religious beliefs or practices:
Agnostic, Christian (universalist), Mediumship, Near-death experience or out-of-body, Spiritual but not religious, Spiritualist, Taoist
Practices welcome in IC:
12 steps (from AA, NA, etc.), Agnostic, Astrology, Atheist, Bahai, Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, Jainist, Jewish, Kabbalah, Mediumship, Muslim/Islam, Native American / First Nations, Near-death experience or out-of-body, New Age (mix), New Thought (law of attraction), Pagan, Pantheist, Shamanic or indigenous animist, Sikh, Spiritual but not religious, Spiritualist, Taoist, Tarot, Theosophical Society, Wiccan, Zoroastrian
Ecological preservation ethics:
Commitment to reduce, re-use, recycle, Composting toilet, Eating vegan, vegetarian, or certified humane animal products, Gray water recycling where permitted, Local food commitment for low carbon footprint, Use of alternative power such as solar or wind
Belief-related practices:
It's fine to have and express your beliefs but not impose on others. I enjoy walking weekly with a friend, discussing topics of emotional growth. In the past I've enjoyed meeting monthly for ceremonies including smudging and other symbolic gestures.
Wisdom sharing:
I believe in very few one-size-fits-all principles. I believe sometimes we may be in other's lives to learn from each other even if it's not a long-term situation. With authenticity and compassion we can live peacefully and part amicably when that becomes the best way forward. I believe living in community is both extremely challenging and often worth it.
Size of community:
6 to 10, Under 6
Sense of togetherness:
An IC should foster close interpersonal relationships, An IC should have regular mandated “group work” to resolve conflicts as they arise, An IC should have regular opportunities to encourage all to share their feelings
Gender + number:
Female
Genders welcome in IC:
Female, Male, Non-binary
My current couple situation:
I'm available, I'm single or divorced
Couple situations welcome in IC:
Available somewhat (e.g., in open relationship), Committed closed partnership(s) (e.g., married monogamous couples), Not available (e.g., you're okay if you're not going to be a threat to my primary relationship), Single (not in a committed closed partnership)
My sexual orientation:
Monogamous, Straight
Sexual identities welcome in IC:
Cisgender (gender aligns with natal sex), Heterosexual (straight), LGBTQ+ (non-normative gender identity and/or same-sex attraction), Monogamous (committed to a single sexual partner), Non-monogamous, Polyamorous (in more than one physically intimate relationship with consent of all involved), Polygamous (married to more than one spouse)
Sex & intimacy norms in IC:
A topic discussed with curiosity and respect, allowing for experimentation around what works for the community, A topic not discussed by the community, Other, Primarily left to the individual to determine, with the understanding that personal choices can impact community culture
Physical affection:
I am a big hugger; I’m affectionate even with people I don't know well
My availability for physical intimacy:
Never would I ever be interested in casual sex, Want to take it really slow to be sure a commitment can last
Socioeconomic status:
I've got skill sets that have provided me a high income in the past, but currently I'm working for non-profits. Voluntary simplicity. I have zero debt.
Queer or LGBTQ:
I'm comfortable interacting daily with people who have gender nonconforming identities.
Diversity beliefs or intentions:
I have friends from many ethnic backgrounds. I speak Spanish. Dual language would be workable.
Children in IC:
Children are not a good fit (e.g., college dorm or retirement community)
Children present in household:
No dependent children
Other people’s children:
Children are the responsibility of their parents, so any shared care needs to be agreed on between individuals, I want to be in a setting in which all feel a responsibility for well-being of children in the community
Behavior correction:
Parents shouldn't allow their child(ren) to be loud and disruptive in group settings
Children sheltered from:
Adult nudity, Drug use, Guns, Sexual behavior or images, Violent images or lyrics, Vulgar language
Screen time (acceptable rules):
Parents should agree on online content allowed (e.g. video games, social media) because children will share with each other, Screen time and content limits are up to individual families, Screen-free locations agreed on as a group, Screen-free times agreed on as a group to encourage outdoor play with peers
Dogs:
Indoor dog(s) okay if some rooms are off limits, Not applicable, with separate residences each household decides, Outdoor dog(s) not okay, Outdoor dog(s) okay if not frequent barkers
Cats:
Indoor cat(s) not okay, Not applicable, with separate residences each household decides, Outdoor cat(s) not okay
Farm animals or pets I have or want:
I don't have pets currently. Because we have guests at the resort, and team housing is small, one outside dog at the place could be okay if not a barker. Next to wilderness, an outdoor cat would be in danger. An indoor cat would have too little space for comfort.
Special food needs:
Strongly prefer home-processed foods
Plant-based or not:
Cage-free eggs okay, Certified-humane meat okay, Everyone makes their own food choices even when eating together, Fish okay, Small local dairy products okay
Organic:
All food choices are accepted, Commitment to all organic, Commitment to local-grown as much as possible, Commitment to non-GMO, Not applicable (e.g., no obligation for shared meals), Organic non-certified is okay
Shared meals (acceptable norms):
Prefer shared meals daily, Prefer shared meals weekly or monthly, Shared meals are necessary community glue, Shared meals are necessary for efficiency and low cost, Shared meals should be optional
Medical risk bubbles:
I can live with or work physically close to people who do not take precautions against infection, allergy, or injury, I can't live with or work physically close to people who need strict precautions from people in their IC
Pandemic norms:
Keep good health practices for good immune function, Masks only when in public and mandated, No masks or distancing around friends and family who aren't part of IC, Only normal hygiene within the IC; no extra precautions
Severe allergies:
none
Health conditions:
My feet and hands get cold easily because of low blood pressure. I can handle being in cold only with big boots & mittens.
Noise level:
A lively social environment should be the norm, A quiet serene living space should be the norm, Different noise tolerance can be managed by having designated times for noise and quiet, Just keep it down enuf that neighbors don't complain, One quiet space should be reserved for those who need to focus on work
Sleep:
I keep an early bedtime, I’m a late riser, I’m an early riser, I’m not very consistent with my waking and bedtimes, My sleep is easily disturbed so I need quiet at night
Sleep needs & noise:
I wake most nights between midnight and 4, get up for 30 to 45 minutes, then go back to sleep.
Comfort & convenience:
I can participate in a rugged life and hard physical work, I can participate with others who do not tolerate rugged life or extreme temperatures, I cannot tolerate extreme temperatures, I enjoy a rugged life and hard physical work, I like my cushy life
Tech savvy:
I'm about average with tech use
Internet connection & phone signal:
I need to be consistently connected to wifi during work hours, I'm concerned about the effects of constant wifi exposure
Off-grid:
Is not workable
Leisure time:
side work projects, walking
Films, books, music, podcasts, shows:
documentaries mostly; podcasts on business, mindset, spirituality, politics
Political orientation:
Outsider left
Culture influencers:
RFK Jr., Brene Brown, Nic Askew, Ezra Klein, Jamie Weinstein, Bari Weiss, Nick Hanauer, farmer Joel Salatin
Civic, political, or activist groups or movements:
Avaaz, local land trusts for conservation easements, Kiva microcredit lending
Extroversion (under 50% means more introverted than average):
74
Emotional even keel (under 50% means more ups & downs than average):
70
Agreeableness (under 50% means less compliant or more contrary than average):
83
Conscientiousness (under 50% means more easygoing than average):
98
Open to new experiences / imagination (under 50% means more traditional than average, sticks with "tried and true"):
95
Tendency for dealing with others' expectations:
questioner
Myers-Briggs (& Keirsey-Bates) temperament type:
INTJ but also, after a 1.5 year volunteer work, retested as F, more empathic than T
Enneagram type:
1w2
Astrological sign(s):
taurus
Weaknesses and superpowers:
very absorbed in work projects; I'm super productive but this can detract from enjoying leisure time
A note about me/us:
While personality tests can be fun and useful, I believe we still need to recognize individual differences beyond the labels.
Dealbreakers:
I don't like snarky commentators. I don't want to be around mean-spirited people who I have to be on guard around and hold firm boundaries with. However, if they are part of the community already, there need to be ways of making sure they don't cause too much grief to others.
Dealmakers:
A tidy living and working space, healthy eating, being close to walks in nature, minimal plastic, eco-friendly products
On scale of 0 (imperturbable) to 27 (highly sensitive), 15 or more = HSP:
14
On scale of 0 (prefers calm & predictable) to 20 (sensation seeking):
10
Tendency regarding others' expectations:
Questioner