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ChosenFamilySeattle

Older boomer

Male

Seattle WA

Speed of commitment:

In between: Open to a commitment after a defined time for a trial run

IC types I would live in or am forming:

Multi-family shared house, Shared housing in metropolitan area, Activist commune supporting shared work

Food production:

Working toward a mix of producing our own food and buying groceries

IC seeker or founder/resident:

Householder: I am looking for one or more members to join a household that is NOT located in a larger IC. This may or may not include a business partnership or work share.

Vulnerable population as a proportion of residents:

No can do

Residential proximity:

House mates (separate bedrooms, shared kitchen)

Ownership types:

Rented with shared housing or shared land

Reasons for shared housing:

Ecological sustainability to reduce carbon footprint, Lower cost of living, Sharing resources (spaces, equipment, tools, vehicles, gardens), Sharing meals and chores, Having a “chosen family” to share good times and support each other thru hard times, Friendship and sharing activities

Décor of shared areas:

Decisions based on practical utility and durability

Clutter level of shared living areas or work space:

Tidy in shared spaces, with a designated place for things, Average level of "lived in" look

Cleanliness level (germs & crumbs):

All food counters & tables wiped down daily to not attract pests, Disinfectants must be ecologically safe products (chemical sensitivity), Dishes washed (or loaded into dishwasher) daily to not attract pests

Yard or landscaping:

Gardens and edible landscaping

Neighborhood or scenery:

Scenery is not high on the list of property characteristics that's worth paying extra for

Current city/town and state/province:

Seattle WA

Nation(s) of current residence:

United States

Preferred regions:

Pacific Coast U.S.

Population density:

Urban

Ideal location(s):

Seattle, WA

Duration of my current location:

Committed to location because of friendship and/or extended family

Relocation capacity:

Committed to my current residence for the foreseeable future

Resource sharing:

Garden (share work and produce), Tool share (maintenance and use of expensive equipment), Emergency preparedness efforts, Meal preparation, Care of elderly, disabled, or incapacitated relatives

My socioeconomic status:

Substantial assets but lower income

Leisure and lifestyle:

Somewhat frugal about leisure and entertainment expenditures

Leadership availability:

I'm currently in IC leadership

Roles and responsibilities:

Transactional relationships are more fair; to a reasonable extent there should be accountability through written agreements, In a reciprocal relationship you give about as much as you get, but it happens without keeping track, Clear responsibilities are important to minimize conflict

Practical skills:

Cooking for groups, Childcare, Grant-writing, Bookkeeping, Group facilitation

Experience or schooling:

Activism & organizing, Ecological science, Event planning & management, Anthropology, Psychology, Sociology, Experience teaching adults, Musical performance, Social dance, Theater, Writing, Bookkeeping/accounting, Consensus facilitation, Long term rentals and maintenance

Occupation(s) and expertise:

Librarian, college instructor, vocal coach [singing], small business management

Years lived in an IC:

Over 20 years in IC

Experience in community:

Member of present community since 1979, cost-sharing, chore-sharing, regular meetings for mutual support as well as business

Generation:

Older boomer

Generations intended in IC:

Millennial (born 1981 – 1996), Older boomer (born 1946 – 1954)

Number of infants and preschoolers:

none

Number of grade-school children:

none

Number of teens:

none

Number of working adults:

Number of non-working adults:

Alcohol (tolerable rules):

Should be regulated by group decision only if it becomes problematic

Tobacco smoking (tolerable rules):

Should not be allowed on the premises

Cannabis (tolerable rules):

Should not be allowed on the premises, even if its legal in our location

Psychedelics (tolerable rules):

Legal psychedellics are okay if not disrupting to others

Illegal recreational drugs (tolerable rules):

Should be dealt with by group decision in a manner to support non-use

Overnight guests (tolerable rules):

Should be subject to group decision only if it becomes problematic

Daytime visitor access (tolerable rules):

Should require that community is informed of planned visits

Nudity (tolerable rules):

Should be limited to private rooms or private residences (as is the norm outside the IC)

Required disclosures:

Current addictions even if under treatment

Religious or spiritual practice-based IC:

No mandate of strict adherence to shared religious beliefs and practices

My religious beliefs or practices:

Christian (universalist)

Practices welcome in IC:

Atheist, Agnostic, Spiritual but not religious, Christian, Muslim/Islam, Buddhist, Hindu, Sikh, Jewish, Bahai, Spiritualist, Pagan, Wiccan, Taoist, Jainist, Astrology, Pantheist, Native American / First Nations, Shamanic or indigenous animist, Zoroastrian, Kabbalah, Tarot, Mediumship, Near-death experience or out-of-body, Theosophical Society, New Thought (law of attraction), New Age (mix), 12 steps (from AA, NA, etc.)

Ecological preservation ethics:

Local food commitment for low carbon footprint, Eating vegan, vegetarian, or certified humane meat, Use of alternative power such as solar or wind, Commitment to reduce, re-use, recycle

Belief-related practices:

whatever everyone in the group would consider supportive for each other

Wisdom sharing:

open-mindedness, open-heartedness, kindness, generosity, consideration of others' welfare, flexibility, adherence to principles rather than rigid ideologies

Size of community:

6 to 10

Sense of togetherness:

An IC should have regular opportunities to encourage all to share their feelings, An IC should foster close interpersonal relationships

My gender + number:

Male

Genders welcome in IC:

Non-binary, Male, Female

My current couple situation:

I'm in committed partnership

Couple situations welcome in IC:

Committed closed partnership(s) (e.g., married monogamous couples), Single (not in a committed closed partnership), Available somewhat (e.g., in open relationship), Not available (e.g., you're okay if you're not going to be a threat to my primary relationship)

My sexual orientation:

Monogamous, Straight

Sexual identities welcome in IC:

Heterosexual (straight), Cisgender (gender aligns with natal sex), Monogamous (committed to a single sexual partner), Non-monogamous, LGBTQ+ (non-normative gender identity and/or same-sex attraction), Polyamorous (in more than one physically intimate relationship with consent of all involved), Polygamous (married to more than one spouse)

Sex & intimacy norms in IC:

Primarily left to the individual to determine, with the understanding that personal choices can impact community culture, A topic not discussed by the community, A topic discussed with curiosity and respect, allowing for experimentation around what works for the community

Physical affection:

I selectively enjoy hugs; I lean more toward the physically reserved side

My availability for physical intimacy:

Not currently open to a new relationship

Children in IC:

Children are welcome but not a necessity (not a dealbreaker issue)

Children present in household:

No dependent children

Other people’s children:

I want to be in a setting in which all feel a responsibility for well-being of children in the community, I am open to sharing child-care responsibilities such as carpooling or swapping child-care

Behavior correction:

Parents shouldn't be offended if other adults respectfully question their child(ren)'s behavior, Parents shouldn't have to micro-manage their child(ren) for the benefit of adults around them

Screen time (acceptable rules):

Screen time and content limits are up to individual families, Screen-free locations agreed on as a group, Screen-free times agreed on as a group to encourage outdoor play with peers, Parents should agree on online content allowed (e.g. video games, social media) because minors will share with each other

Dogs:

Outdoor dog(s) okay if not frequent barkers, Indoor dog(s) not okay

Cats:

Indoor cat(s) not okay, Outdoor cat(s) not okay

Special food needs:

Severe food allergies, Celiac's or gluten sensitivity, Strongly prefer home-processed foods, Strongly prefer a high quality of food preparation

Plant-based or not:

Primarily vegetarian, Fish okay, Cage-free eggs okay, Small local dairy products okay, Conventional milk products okay, Certified-humane meat okay

Organic:

Commitment to all organic, Organic non-certified is okay, Commitment to local-grown as much as possible, Commitment to non-GMO

Shared meals (acceptable norms):

Prefer shared meals daily, Shared meals are necessary community glue, Shared meals are necessary for efficiency and low cost

Medical risk bubbles:

I can commit to taking extra precautions for others in a high-risk category

Pandemic norms:

Maintain strict social distancing and masks outside the IC, Sanitize hands frequently in the IC, Vaccinated, Keep good health practices for good immune function

Severe allergies:

gluten, cow dairy

Noise level:

A quiet serene living space should be the norm

Sleep:

I’m an early riser, I keep a late bedtime, My sleep is not easily disturbed

Comfort & convenience:

I like my cushy life, I cannot participate in a rugged life and hard physical work, I cannot tolerate extreme temperatures, I can participate with others who do not tolerate rugged life or extreme temperatures

Tech savvy:

I'm about average with tech use

Wifi:

I need to be consistently connected to wifi during work hours

Off-grid:

Is okay but not necessary

Leisure time:

Reading, political activities, streaming videos, folk singalongs

Political orientation:

Progressive left

Culture influencers:

Cory Doctorow

Civic, political, or activist groups or movements:

Nonviolence International, Friends Committee on National Legislation, 350 Seattle

Extroversion (under 50% means more introverted than average):

Emotional even keel (under 50% means more ups & downs than average):

Agreeableness (under 50% means less compliant or more contrary than average):

Conscientiousness (under 50% means more easygoing than average):

Open to new experiences / imagination (under 50% means more traditional than average, sticks with "tried and true"):

Tendency for dealing with others' expectations:

Obliger

Myers-Briggs (& Keirsey-Bates) temperament type:

ENFJ

Enneagram type:

Type 2

Weaknesses and superpowers:

I'm not a very good judge of other peoples' character so rely on others' intuition. I'm very generous with my time and attention.

Dealbreakers:

Lack of concern for others' welfare as individuals and groups, Unwilling to contribute one's share

Dealmakers:

Willingness to contribute one's share, willingness to sacrifice for others