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ChosenFamilySeattle

Older boomer

Male

Seattle WA

Speed of commitment:

In between: Open to a commitment after a defined time for a trial run

IC types I would live in or am forming:

Activist commune supporting shared work, Multi-family shared house, Shared housing in metropolitan area

Food production:

Working toward a mix of producing our own food and buying groceries

IC seeker or founder/resident:

Householder: I am looking for one or more members to join a household that is NOT located in a larger IC. This may or may not include a business partnership or work share.

Vulnerable population as a proportion of residents:

No can do

Residential proximity:

House mates (separate bedrooms, shared kitchen)

Ownership types:

Rented with shared housing or shared land

Reasons for shared housing:

Ecological sustainability to reduce carbon footprint, Friendship and sharing activities, Having a “chosen family” to share good times and support each other thru hard times, Lower cost of living, Sharing meals and chores, Sharing resources (spaces, equipment, tools, vehicles, gardens)

Décor of shared areas:

Decisions based on practical utility and durability

Clutter level of shared living areas or work space:

Average level of "lived in" look, Tidy in shared spaces, with a designated place for things

Cleanliness level (germs & crumbs):

All food counters & tables wiped down daily to not attract pests, Dishes washed (or loaded into dishwasher) daily to not attract pests, Disinfectants must be ecologically safe products (chemical sensitivity)

Yard or landscaping:

Gardens and edible landscaping

Neighborhood or scenery:

Scenery is not high on the list of property characteristics that's worth paying extra for

Current city/town and state/province:

Seattle WA

Nation(s) of current residence:

United States

Preferred regions:

Oregon, U.S. California, U.S. Washington state

Population density:

Urban

Ideal location(s):

Seattle, WA

Commitment to my current location:

Committed to location because of friendship and/or extended family

Relocation capacity:

Committed to my current residence for the foreseeable future

Resource sharing:

Care of elderly, disabled, or incapacitated relatives, Emergency preparedness efforts, Garden (share work and produce), Meal preparation, Tool share (maintenance and use of expensive equipment)

My socioeconomic status:

Substantial assets but lower income

Leisure and lifestyle:

Somewhat frugal about leisure and entertainment expenditures

Leadership availability:

I'm currently in IC leadership

Roles and responsibilities:

Clear responsibilities are important to minimize conflict, In a reciprocal relationship you give about as much as you get, but it happens without keeping track, Transactional relationships are more fair; to a reasonable extent there should be accountability through written agreements

Common practical skills:

Bookkeeping, Childcare, Cooking for groups, Grant-writing, Group facilitation

Experience or schooling:

Activism & organizing, Anthropology, Bookkeeping/accounting, Consensus facilitation, Ecological science, Event planning & management, Experience teaching adults, Long term rentals and maintenance, Musical performance, Psychology, Social dance, Sociology, Theater, Writing

Occupation(s) and expertise:

Librarian, college instructor, vocal coach [singing], small business management

Years lived in an IC:

Over 20 years in IC

Experience in community:

Member of present community since 1979, cost-sharing, chore-sharing, regular meetings for mutual support as well as business

Generation:

Older boomer

Generations intended in IC:

Millennial (born 1981 – 1996), Older boomer (born 1946 – 1954)

Number of infants and preschoolers:

none

Number of grade-school children:

none

Number of teens:

none

Number of working adults:

Number of non-working adults:

Alcohol (tolerable rules):

Should be regulated by group decision only if it becomes problematic

Tobacco smoking (tolerable rules):

Should not be allowed on the premises

Cannabis (tolerable rules):

Should not be allowed on the premises, even if its legal in our location

Psychedelics (tolerable rules):

Legal psychedellics are okay if not disrupting to others

Illegal recreational drugs (tolerable rules):

Should be dealt with by group decision in a manner to support non-use

Overnite guests (tolerable rules):

Should be subject to group decision only if it becomes problematic

Daytime visitor access (tolerable rules):

Should require that community is informed of planned visits

Nudity (tolerable rules):

Should be limited to private rooms or private residences (as is the norm outside the IC)

Required disclosures:

Current addictions even if under treatment

Religious or spiritual practice-based IC:

No mandate of adherence to shared religious beliefs and practices

My religious beliefs or practices:

Christian (universalist)

Practices welcome in IC:

12 steps (from AA, NA, etc.), Agnostic, Astrology, Atheist, Bahai, Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, Jainist, Jewish, Kabbalah, Mediumship, Muslim/Islam, Native American / First Nations, Near-death experience or out-of-body, New Age (mix), New Thought (law of attraction), Pagan, Pantheist, Shamanic or indigenous animist, Sikh, Spiritual but not religious, Spiritualist, Taoist, Tarot, Theosophical Society, Wiccan, Zoroastrian

Ecological preservation ethics:

Commitment to reduce, re-use, recycle, Eating vegan, vegetarian, or certified humane animal products, Local food commitment for low carbon footprint, Use of alternative power such as solar or wind

Belief-related practices:

whatever everyone in the group would consider supportive for each other

Wisdom sharing:

open-mindedness, open-heartedness, kindness, generosity, consideration of others' welfare, flexibility, adherence to principles rather than rigid ideologies

Size of community:

6 to 10

Sense of togetherness:

An IC should foster close interpersonal relationships, An IC should have regular opportunities to encourage all to share their feelings

Gender + number:

Male

Genders welcome in IC:

Female, Male, Non-binary

My current couple situation:

I'm in committed partnership

Couple situations welcome in IC:

Available somewhat (e.g., in open relationship), Committed closed partnership(s) (e.g., married monogamous couples), Not available (e.g., you're okay if you're not going to be a threat to my primary relationship), Single (not in a committed closed partnership)

My sexual orientation:

Monogamous, Straight

Sexual identities welcome in IC:

Cisgender (gender aligns with natal sex), Heterosexual (straight), LGBTQ+ (non-normative gender identity and/or same-sex attraction), Monogamous (committed to a single sexual partner), Non-monogamous, Polyamorous (in more than one physically intimate relationship with consent of all involved), Polygamous (married to more than one spouse)

Sex & intimacy norms in IC:

A topic discussed with curiosity and respect, allowing for experimentation around what works for the community, A topic not discussed by the community, Primarily left to the individual to determine, with the understanding that personal choices can impact community culture

Physical affection:

I selectively enjoy hugs; I lean more toward the physically reserved side

My availability for physical intimacy:

Not currently open to a new relationship

Children in IC:

Children are welcome but not a necessity (not a dealbreaker issue)

Children present in household:

No dependent children

Other people’s children:

I am open to sharing child-care responsibilities such as carpooling or swapping child-care, I want to be in a setting in which all feel a responsibility for well-being of children in the community

Behavior correction:

Parents shouldn't be offended if other adults respectfully question their child(ren)'s behavior, Parents shouldn't have to micro-manage their child(ren) for the benefit of adults around them

Screen time (acceptable rules):

Parents should agree on online content allowed (e.g. video games, social media) because children will share with each other, Screen time and content limits are up to individual families, Screen-free locations agreed on as a group, Screen-free times agreed on as a group to encourage outdoor play with peers

Dogs:

Indoor dog(s) not okay, Outdoor dog(s) okay if not frequent barkers

Cats:

Indoor cat(s) not okay, Outdoor cat(s) not okay

Special food needs:

Celiac's or gluten sensitivity, Severe food allergies, Strongly prefer a high quality of food preparation, Strongly prefer home-processed foods

Plant-based or not:

Cage-free eggs okay, Certified-humane meat okay, Conventional milk products okay, Fish okay, Mostly vegetarian, Small local dairy products okay

Organic:

Commitment to all organic, Commitment to local-grown as much as possible, Commitment to non-GMO, Organic non-certified is okay

Shared meals (acceptable norms):

Prefer shared meals daily, Shared meals are necessary community glue, Shared meals are necessary for efficiency and low cost

Medical risk bubbles:

I can commit to taking extra precautions for others in a high-risk category

Pandemic norms:

Keep good health practices for good immune function, Maintain strict social distancing and masks outside the IC, Sanitize hands frequently in the IC, Vaccinated

Severe allergies:

gluten, cow dairy

Noise level:

A quiet serene living space should be the norm

Sleep:

I keep a late bedtime, I’m an early riser, My sleep is not easily disturbed

Comfort & convenience:

I can participate with others who do not tolerate rugged life or extreme temperatures, I cannot participate in a rugged life and hard physical work, I cannot tolerate extreme temperatures, I like my cushy life

Tech savvy:

I'm about average with tech use

Internet connection & phone signal:

I need to be consistently connected to wifi during work hours

Off-grid:

Is not the plan if it doesn't work for others I want to be in community with, Is not workable, Is okay but not so important

Leisure time:

Reading, political activities, streaming videos, folk singalongs

Political orientation:

Progressive left

Culture influencers:

Cory Doctorow

Civic, political, or activist groups or movements:

Nonviolence International, Friends Committee on National Legislation, 350 Seattle

Extroversion (under 50% means more introverted than average):

Emotional even keel (under 50% means more ups & downs than average):

Agreeableness (under 50% means less compliant or more contrary than average):

Conscientiousness (under 50% means more easygoing than average):

Open to new experiences / imagination (under 50% means more traditional than average, sticks with "tried and true"):

Tendency for dealing with others' expectations:

Obliger

Myers-Briggs (& Keirsey-Bates) temperament type:

ENFJ

Enneagram type:

Type 2

Weaknesses and superpowers:

I'm not a very good judge of other peoples' character so rely on others' intuition. I'm very generous with my time and attention.

Dealbreakers:

Lack of concern for others' welfare as individuals and groups, Unwilling to contribute one's share